After a while . I realise I am more in love with our memories then the people we used to be .

I wished to ask you so many questions which I am not allowed to know the answers any more.

" Are you happy " , " Are you fine ? "

Do you wish we are still in one another life , like nothing happened ?
Do you feel any emptiness in your heart whenever your birthday come and goes ?
Do you still love me with the intention of loving me without saying goodbye ?
Do you still awaits for my goodnights and morning messages ?

Given another chance , I want to wipe away the sadness in your eyes , ensuring everything is gonna be just fine . I want to run through my fingers into your hair and giving you a pat , ensuring everything is gonna be just fine .

If only I had the courage to fight and held onto you. I tried all means to overexhaust my body . Party for nights, covering duties one after another, this feelings just sucks knowing I gave my all and yet it doesn't get any returns.

I thought I be fine , indulging in temporary happiness but nothing seems as precious as the thoughts I have for you .

I don't even have the courage to wish you a happy birthday probably because I know it won't mean a thing to you anymore.

You won this round and I was utterly defeated.